Sound Destruction: MOVE IT OR LOSE IT

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

MOVE IT OR LOSE IT



I was out driving earlier and passed a car dealership and noticed their sale tag line. Get this, they called it a "Gas Crunch Sale". What the hell kind of sense does that make?!

At least it distracted me momentarily from how much driving in Virginia sucks. Everyone is too slow. Yep, all these NASCAR loving Virginians. Go figure. They don't drive here, they mosey. Forget about just making a light. Never happen. The person in front of you is sure to start breaking about 20 feet before the light and often when it's still green for no apparent reason. But here's the thing. No one honks here! If this was New Jersey, fahgedaboutit! You'd get the horn, the one finger wave, and the evil eye. But you'd make the light.

And what's up with the license plates here? I have never seen so many vanity plates. Really, people, I don't give a shit about where you like to vacation, or how many kids you have, your profession, or what teams you like. Eh, I have to take that last one back. I did talk hubby into getting personalized plates when we moved here to support one of his favorite teams. I even thought up a little something crea8tive myself. *pats self on the back*

So here's the deal. If you can find your way to introduce your foot to the gas pedal and you have the number 47 anywhere on your license plate, your A-OK in my book. If not, get the hell outta my way!

10 Comments:

Blogger Ev said...

People here drive slower because they've important things on their mind...such as racism, should they bone their sister AND cousin or just the cousin, and why President Bush is the greatest patriot in the history of time.

The vanity plate thing is because VA has the cheapest rates on Vanity plates.

1:31 PM  
Blogger araider said...

How right you are Sar about these dumb ass Virginians. Every time I go to my office I'm always stuck behind some asshole doing 10 miles under speed limit. Since I lived in Jersey for a while, I can't break the habit of honking my horn and giving the 1 finger wave. People look at me strangely when I do that and that just gives me the incentive to honk and flip them again.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

don't be in such a hurry in your damn mommy mobile!
:P

2:08 PM  
Blogger tlm said...

I dare any of them to come down here and drive... We'd run them off the road.

5:22 PM  
Blogger strider said...

i don't mind slow drivers as long as they stay out of my ways...

stay to the right.

when i get off of 95 where sar lives it all of a sudden turns into a bunch of slow poles smiling at you when you get mad at them.

damn those nice folks in VA!

it's also a pain to try to get myself back to normal driving after being on the rt 95 speedway.

thats all i have to say about that.

8:00 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Ev - Well, that explains it.

Araider - You feel my pain.

Mike - Curse you!

TLM - When the q-tips in retirement land are speed demons in comparison, you know it's bad.

Strider - But you're still gonna come back and visit, right?

Sorry my comments are so brief; my internet connection was down most of the afternoon and now LOST will be coming on soon!

8:44 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Uh-oh. You're channeling George Carlin.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This'll sound like some sort of New Jersey thing, but when I lived there I was one of the nice defensive drivers. It's all relative really, as in Washington state I am one of the assholes that is screaming at the other cars. When the hell did I become agressive, or does everyone else in some of these states just drive like a bunch of people that just escaped from the retirement home?

The Brother

For proof that I am me, I present:
"Snakes on a Plane?"

http://www.blackfilm.com/20050819/features/snakesonaplane.shtml

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And sadly, the drivers in Virginia are still better than the ones in North Carolina. Why is it that on a four lane highway that just has me and some other person on it at 4 in the morning does that jackass always decide that the proper place to be is right on my ass?

It cut ofdf the end, it should have snakesonaplane.shtml after the /features/ bit. Take a look, then tell me what the hell made them think that this was a good idea?

The brother

9:41 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Oops, I'm way behind in catching up on comments!

Doug - I'm a George Carlin fan, could you tell? Like the drivers who put their turn signal on after turning to show you where they came from.

Bro - That's seriously demented! Strangely, I'm not afraid of snakes. Crunchy icky bugs and spiders, yes (remember how you used to save me from them?). But not snakes. Go figure. Sam Jackson's in it, so you know our other brother's going to be all over this flick.

9:36 AM  

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