Sound Destruction: I LOVE THE ONION!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I LOVE THE ONION!

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Trick-Or-Treaters To Be Subject To Random Bag Searches
October 26, 2005 Issue 41/43


WASHINGTON, DC - Responding to "a possible threat of terror and fright," Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced Monday that trick-or-treaters will be subject to random bag searches this Halloween season.

"Individuals concealing their identities through clever disguise, and under cover of night, may attempt to use the unspecified threat of 'tricks' to extort 'treats' from unsuspecting victims," Chertoff said. "Such scare tactics may have been tolerated in the past, but they will not be allowed to continue this Halloween."

"This is yet another misguided and unfair example of profiling by our nation's law enforcement," said ACLU spokesperson Marilee McInnis. "It's doubtful that many G.I. Joes will be searched, but Aladdins, genies, and belly dancers should expect a huge crimp in their Halloween fun."

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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10:26 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

The Onion rocks -- White House seal and all!

3:12 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Terror Alert Level: Orange

I'm with Sar. The Onion rocks.

3:45 PM  

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