Sound Destruction: ETHICS FOR SALE

Friday, August 05, 2005


Our dear friend The Mad Pigeon has, well, gone mad. Or has he? He's decided to bottle up & sell his ethics on E-Bay. As he describes it:
  • The jar is conveniently palm-sized and aerodynamic--perfect for admiring as you struggle with tough ethical choices; think of it as a worry stone, except for the fact it isn't a plain old river rock you probably paid high two figures for at the local Metaphysical Store.
  • Does the phrase, “I want to be a Hilton,” leave your skin crawling? Use some of my ethics as a deep-cleansing exfoliate.
  • You can also sprinkle some around the computer to keep the spam advertising away.
  • Lose another hockey season because some overpaid, crying-like-a-preschooler athlete would rather play for pay than for love of the game? Then use these ethics to build a small sandbox to play in.
  • Are you a business owner? Pour it down the pants of your local white-collar fraudster and watch him chafe raw right before your very eyes!
  • See, the uses for good, clean ethics are endless--you could even use it to brush your teeth and as a dietary aid! After all, to be hip and sexy we’ve got to pay top dollar to keep our teeth white and belly’s flat.


Blogger Doug said...

The Perfect gift for the man who has everything.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Sar said...

I noticed you said "man". Interesting....

12:23 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Not by accident, Sar. What would, say, Martha Stewart need with that?

12:41 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I would like to have some to pass out in the city.

12:25 AM  
Blogger Chris Woods said...

Brilliant, quite brilliant.

2:06 AM  
Anonymous pia said...

I could think of some things that Martha Stewart could do with it, or rather have done with it several years ago. But she didn't and ended up in prison, and still is under house arrest

I would rather it be sprinkled over DC in massive quantities

it's a great idea; if only ethics could be bottled

1:39 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

The opposite is bottled. Seems like their must be a way.

6:13 PM  
Blogger GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

I think mine are in a jar somewhere, also--right next to my scruples and my soul.


2:31 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Doug - Maybe airborn disbursement? Ethics in hairspray.

Alice - Wow, NYC with ethics. Now there's a thought.

Chris - I thought so too.

Pia - Agreed, but that's assuming they actually open the jar.

Gabe - Your morals too, I presume?

3:11 PM  

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