ETHICS FOR SALE

Our dear friend The Mad Pigeon has, well, gone mad. Or has he? He's decided to bottle up & sell his ethics on E-Bay. As he describes it:

• The jar is conveniently palm-sized and aerodynamic--perfect for admiring as you struggle with tough ethical choices; think of it as a worry stone, except for the fact it isn't a plain old river rock you probably paid high two figures for at the local Metaphysical Store.
  
• Does the phrase, “I want to be a Hilton,” leave your skin crawling? Use some of my ethics as a deep-cleansing exfoliate.
  
• You can also sprinkle some around the computer to keep the spam advertising away.
  
• Lose another hockey season because some overpaid, crying-like-a-preschooler athlete would rather play for pay than for love of the game? Then use these ethics to build a small sandbox to play in.
  
• Are you a business owner? Pour it down the pants of your local white-collar fraudster and watch him chafe raw right before your very eyes!
  
• See, the uses for good, clean ethics are endless--you could even use it to brush your teeth and as a dietary aid! After all, to be hip and sexy we’ve got to pay top dollar to keep our teeth white and belly’s flat.