Sound Destruction: AS IF THINGS WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

AS IF THINGS WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH...

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U.S. BLOWJOBLESS RATE AT ALL TIME HIGH

WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of a recent drop in the sexual-interest rate, Labor Secretary Elaine Chao announced Tuesday that blowjoblessness in America has reached a record high. According to Labor Department statistics, the overall blowjobless rate swelled to 37.4 percent in July, causing widespread deflation of egos.

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*the onion rules!

21 Comments:

Blogger tlm said...

Hey, strider.. Can we at least blame Clinton for this one?

12:05 AM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

hehe, good one.

by the way, guys, I just had my first post deleted off some Neo-con's site.

oh, that was funny.

follow this link to his post, then read my comments.

http://cuttingthegrass.blogspot.com/2005/08/chuck-hagel-forgot-to-bring-his-logic.html

he left all of them but the last one (which I sort of replicated again)

Hold his feet to the fire, folks.
He's a 22 year old neo-con that makes me laugh...

1:44 AM  
Blogger GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

You see...the Clinton administration was good for SOMETHING.

Now...will President Hillary popularize cunnilingus?

I could answer that, but I'd only deepen the hole I've dug already...

)+(

8:27 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

See, now this is a time when as conservative as I am, I would support a big government program to relieve this crisis. Besides, Ann Coulter should really get a job in this administration before they leave town.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

Ann Coulter is a man.

11:22 AM  
Blogger araider said...

blowjoblessness is caused by not returning the favor.
or by not spending enough money on your significant other.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Sar said...

Um, not sure what to say here. *blushing*

;)

11:59 AM  
Blogger Maine said...

Has there been an increase in marriage rates? That might explain it.

I'm considering getting my wife a pacifier just to get her back into the habit.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous JJ said...

Nice graphic!

12:18 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Wow, Mike. I checked out that exchange you linked to. First of all I admire your testicular verility (man, I love that phrase) for taking your case right into the lion's den. So he's telling you if you say "Bush/Republican's lied", you're prohibited from commenting. Say what I want to hear or how I want to hear it or you're not allowed to comment. Sound about right?

Sounds all wrong to me. I don't get it. Why write specifically anti-partisan charged posts on a public blog then not allow the public opposition a chance to defend their stance and engage in open dialog? (which, in Mike's defense, he really was.)

Sure, we're obviously of a certain partisan persuasion here, but I think it's fair to say we pride ourselves on our openness to full dialog. And c'mon, regardless of your partisanship, you have to admit, Bush really is an easy target (as admittedly Clinton was at one time and TLM pounced right on it, I see).

4:38 PM  
Blogger araider said...

Sar,
nicely done changing the subject matter. We went through no blowjobs to politics. But we're still getting screwed one way or another so i guess that's good or bad

4:43 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Why thanks, Araider. I was at a loss for words. Okay, well that's not exactly true. I had plenty to say, but felt all weirded out discussing blowjobs around my brother.

(Yeah, and thanks a lot Strider, maybe I should post that cleveage shot Gabriel asked for just to get you back!)

5:11 PM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

Thanks for the props!

That guy is a little boy with about that much knowledge of the world.

Yea, I think it is VERY chickenshit (perfect for a chickenhawk) to start deleting things from your postings because you do not agree with them.
And that's basically what he was doing.

As soon as I held his feet to the fire enough, he started to get really pissed.
Basically, he wants sycophants only on there.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I feel weird discussing them around my brother as well.

But hey some very good points.
1. Ann Coulter a man andis the man for the job for sure although me thinks she prefers it the other way.

Blowjoblessness , as we all know , is caused by college graduation.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Wow, Alice, you just blew (puleeze resist the pun!) every guy's incentive to graduate! But, you're right there were some funny comments and points made that should not go unnoticed.

1. Ann Coulter wouldn't know a dick if it smacked her across the face. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

2. I think Gabriel's confused. It's actually not a hole he's dug for himself, rather it's a crator, maybe even a canyon - have you seen his blog?!

3. Doug's apparently unaware of the fact that Ann Coulter already has a job with this administration as the original "media whore" - check me out, using the right spin, rock on self!

3. I wonder if I should take pitty on Maine's plight or fear for his daughter as it pertains to pacifiers. (Btw all, Maine's wife is due with their 1st child in the semi-near future.)

Any others I missed?

7:49 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

I'm shocked! Shocked I am to find such language on this site and not written by Gabe or Strider! Young lady! And I'm sorry, I think she deserves a promotion from media whore to blowjob czar. It's such a little thing. (yeah, I know)

7:54 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

By the way, Alice, Sar's right. I finished college 12 years after finishing high school and that was just for hope.

7:56 PM  
Blogger BJHokanson said...

That's an awesome, er, arrow at the end of that er, graph.

10:51 PM  
Blogger shea48kelley said...

damn good blog, check out mine http://juicyfruiter.blogspot.com, comments always welcome!

6:31 AM  
Blogger GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Doug: Blowjob Tsar? Will that interfere with Ann's official capacities as the Whore of Revelation?

)+(

1:54 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Yeah, Doug, the Good Host/Bad Host bit gets old sometimes. Dammit, I want to be the Bad Host!

Bjhokanson - That's a pretty applicable name for this post wouldn't ya say? (nice blog, btw).

shea48kelley - Do you really dig SD or are you just spamin around?

5:38 PM  

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