Sound Destruction: A LITTLE COMIC, IF NOT ECONOMIC, RELIEF

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

A LITTLE COMIC, IF NOT ECONOMIC, RELIEF

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It cost me $40 to filler up today. My jaw still hasn't found its way back up from the floor. But I suppose it could be worse. Here are some signs that you're really broke:
  1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
  2. You've rolled so many pennies, you may as well be married to Abe.
  3. Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.
  4. You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.
  5. You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
  6. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
  7. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
  8. You give blood everyday - for the orange juice.
  9. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
  10. The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets.

Any others?

8 Comments:

Blogger Doug said...

1. You sell the car on your front lawn because you need the cinder blocks.

2. You take down the beware of dog sign thinking a burglar might spare some change.

3. You put up a "Dog 4 Rent" sign in its place.

4. The President mentions you by name when he talks about social security.

5. No water for stone soup.

6. You finally agree that ketchup is a vegetable and so is dirt, now that you mention it.

7. The hungry look in a child's eye makes you feel better about yourself.

8. You want to grow your own mushrooms but can't spare the crap.

9. A panhandler declines to hit you up because "you need it more than I do" (This happened to me in Atlanta years ago.)

10. The thought of spaghettio's with meatballs makes you kind of woozy.

11. I night of bingo with Doug sounds like one hell of a soiree.

7:02 PM  
Blogger Brother Kenya said...

Forty bucks to fill?! What are you driving, Sar, the Batmobile?

My MINI Cooper runs about $25 to fill. Join the club!

7:34 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

Bro K - Though it continues to served us well, I'm anxiously awaiting the day I can downsize from my Toyota Sienna (minivan). And damn you for making admit I drive a mommy-mobile. I'd be so much cooler driving the batmobile!

8:02 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

doug - tee hee! Bingo soiree. ;)

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Tom Harper said...

You start calling up telemarketers to hit THEM up for money.

Wait, ketchup isn't a vegetable?

10:04 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

TH - We'll have to check against that food pyramid for clarification. But as with any good pyramid, we should be able to fashion it to our liking.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

You go to the mall to try on clothes because you forget what it feels like to have a shirt without holes.

10:39 PM  
Blogger strider said...

while at the mall you do laps around the food court for the samples for lunch.

11:12 PM  

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